Development: 0, 1, 2
Same question. Same two quotes. Different connections.
How do reading and friendship let Rowdy show a side others miss?
Only Development is scored here. Compare how the sentences build before opening each score. Your own score also reflects your growth as a writer.
Version A
Rowdy reads and talks with Junior. Junior says, “Rowdy isn’t a fast reader, but he’s persistent.” (Alexie 23) Persistent means he keeps trying. Comic books have pictures. Junior says, “And he only talks about his dreams with me.” (Alexie 23) Rowdy has dreams. The boys are friends. A person can have different sides.
See the Development score
0 of 2 points
The two quotations are present, but the paragraph does not explain how the details work together. The comic-book sentence adds a fact without developing the answer. The ending could fit many characters.
Version B
Reading with Junior lets Rowdy show patience that other people may miss. Junior says, “Rowdy isn’t a fast reader, but he’s persistent.” (Alexie 23) This means Rowdy keeps returning to the comics even though reading takes him time. That effort shows that his enjoyment matters more to him than reading quickly. Junior also says, “And he only talks about his dreams with me.” (Alexie 23) This means Rowdy shares private hopes with Junior. Their friendship is important.
See the Development score
1 of 2 points
The first quotation is explained and connected to the answer. The second is explained too, but the paragraph stops before showing how shared reading and private hopes connect. “Their friendship is important” leaves the relationship vague.
Version C
Shared reading gives Junior a chance to notice Rowdy’s patience, while their private conversations reveal his trust. Junior says, “Rowdy isn’t a fast reader, but he’s persistent.” (Alexie 23) Rowdy keeps working through comics because he enjoys them; slow reading does not cancel his interest. Their time together lets Junior see that effort rather than judge him only by his tough behavior. Junior adds, “And he only talks about his dreams with me.” (Alexie 23) The word “only” makes the trust specific: Rowdy chooses Junior as someone who can hear his hopes. The second detail extends the first. Junior sees both the effort Rowdy puts into reading and the hopes he keeps private from others. Being together gives room for both sides to appear.
See the Development score
2 of 2 points
The first quotation establishes effort. The second adds trust, rather than repeating the same point. The explanation of “only” attends to exact language. Each step develops the answer about what Junior can see in Rowdy.
Make one sentence do more
Replace Version B’s last sentence. Explain how sharing private hopes changes what Junior understands about Rowdy.
Compare one possible revision
Sharing private hopes shows that Junior’s friendship gives Rowdy a place to reveal feelings he hides from other people.